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Change or Replace a Habit

A habit is a behavior that occurs automatically in specific situations. It is very difficult to eliminate, change, or replace habits because they are encoded as closed-loop neuron patterns in your brain: once the habit pattern launches, it is hard to stop.

The habit cycle goes like this: Something happens in or around you (the signal) that triggers a behavior (the automatic response). This action satisfies some craving – at least in the moment.

For example, you say you want to go to the gym after work. Usually, after getting home, the first thing you do is change your clothes. Right after changing your clothes (the signal) you pour your favorite beverage and sit on your couch for a rest (the automatic response). The urge to do this is strong, and the anticipation of a time to relax and enjoy something that tastes good (the reward) takes over. You put off the gym until tomorrow.

Here are the STEPS for doing this:

To change or adopt a habit, you have to break old behavior cycles or insert something new in your already busy life. Possibly the most important factor will be your persistence.

  • With this in mind, first be sure you really want to develop this new habit. Are you ready?:

Habit change is often difficult. Discipline and persistence are critical, not only to plan a successful process, but to implement it. Create or Change a Habit (in Tools). This step-by-step guide wil help you be more successful in this most important of self-evolution activities.

Identify the habit type:

  • A mental habit, thought pattern (e.g., self-talk that you are not able to succeed)
  • An emotional or interpersonal reaction (e.g., angry response to people who question your authority)
  • A physical or physiological action (e.g., fear when in a crowd; a nervous twitch when you feel stressed)
  • A characteristic (e.g., you procrastinate completing timesheets)

Describe the habit you want to eliminate or replace

  • Be guided by the Tool, Create or Change a Habit

Identify the triggers. What is happening right before you launch your habit or plan to launch your habit?

  • The appearance of a person, place or thing?
  • A specific behavior or event?
  • A time of day?
  • A feeling or desire?

Describe, very specifically, what is happening immediately before you launch the behavior you want to change. What “triggers” it?

Use Create or Change a Habit (in Tools) as a place to organize your thoughts.

Consider…

  • Safety benefits
  • Health benefits
  • Relationship benefits
  • Feelings of achievement
  • Instant gratification/ good feelings
  • Recognition or belonging
  • Feeling more powerful and in charge of your life
  • Avoiding physical or emotional pain
  • Anything else?

Probe for the real reasons why this habit persists for you – what the rewards are (go beyond the obvious or first thing that comes to mind)

Use Create or Change a Habit (in Tools) as a place to organize your thoughts.

Consider the negative effects on such areas as…

  • Your health
  • Achieving important goals or dreams
  • Relationships
  • Your sense of self-worth, esteem, self-confidence, self-control
  • Anything else?

Name the negative effects of the old habit. How are you or others being hurt or disadvantaged in some way by this habit?

Use Create or Change a Habit (in Tools) as a place to organize your thoughts.

What is…

  • The most constructive behavior that will help you get the benefits you want
  • Other behaviors that will help you get better, more valued benefits

Describe the new behavior you want to put in place whenever the trigger(s) in #2 occurs?

Use Create or Change a Habit (in Tools) as a place to organize your thoughts

Write your intentions in this format:

  • “When/if xxxx (the trigger) occurs, I will yyyy (the behavior). The valued benefit or reward I will receive is zzzzz

Adjust your change management timeframe to match the difficulty of your habit change process.

  • For an easy habit change, keep a scorecard for 2-4 weeks.
  • For a more difficult one, do this for 2-3 months. Notice when a trigger event happens and how many times you responded with the old and new habit. Just tracking will help you make the change.

Use Create or Change a Habit (in Tools) as a place to organize your thoughts

Be patient and diligent. Keep score and build your willpower step by step.

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